


Phantoms Can’t Help Me More Than You

by jane_fucking_seymour



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 21:18:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20842151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_fucking_seymour/pseuds/jane_fucking_seymour
Summary: TW: suicidal thoughtsKatherine Howard had had enough.





	Phantoms Can’t Help Me More Than You

Katherine Howard had had enough.

She had fought with all the queens this week - including Jane and Anna, out of everyone - and so they weren’t around when she hit into some trouble at the bar. The Ladies in Waiting, ever watchful, helped her, but the damage had already been done. That and a few bad social media messages and Katherine had reached her limit.

They wouldn’t care, she convinces herself. It’ll be fine.

She looked down at the not-busy street; barely anyone was on it. It was as if the world was frozen for the moment, and it was just her.

Or, at least, it would have been, if it wasn’t for a woman in gold.

Katherine looked over and her eyes go wide with recognition as well as confusion: it was _her_, she knew this, but the woman in gold… it wasn’t _the_ woman in gold. She was wearing what she would have back then. 

Why was she even here?

“Hello?”

The woman in gold looks over; she’s clearly been crying, clearly distraught. She looks very ill, Katherine observes.

“How are you here?” Katherine asks, completely confused.

The woman in gold, still crying, shakes her head. “I… I don’t know what you mean. I’m in my palace, who- who are _you_?”

Katherine sighs, running a hand through her hair. “No one you need to worry about now.”

The woman in gold shook her head, looking down.

“I… I fear I’ll die without seeing my girl.”

Katherine tilts her head. “What?”

“My daughter, her name is-”

“I know her name,” Katherine replies. “But why are you saying that?”

The woman in gold looks hopelessly confused, and so does Katherine for the moment. She sighs, running a hand through her hair.

“Will I die alone?” The woman in gold asks. “Do you think I’ll die alone?”

“No, you won’t,” Katherine replies. “You definitely won’t, I know that much.” She knows more than that, but she can’t say. She doesn’t know if this woman in gold is a specter, or some sort of time travel thing, but she didn’t want to find out. Not right now, not when she should be-

“Excuse me?”

Katherine looks over at the woman in gold again, who has stopped crying in the moment.

“Yes?”

“How do you know?”

Katherine sighs. “Call it a gut feeling,” she replies. “But the point is… it’ll be okay. It’s not what you expect, but it’ll be alright.” 

The woman in gold says nothing, save for the occasional sniffle. She puts a hand over her heart.

“It’s starting to hurt more now.”

“Your heart?”

The woman nods, so Katherine does the only thing she can do: she holds her close. 

“You will be okay,” Katherine states again. “I promise, love.” 

The woman in gold finally smiles.

She fades into nothing soon after, the sunlight having reached her form at that exact moment.

Katherine looks back down at the street, biting her lip nervously. She’s not sure what happened, but she needs to make a decision. She needs to do it now, as the others would arrive not too long after, and by then-

“Katherine?”

Kat whips around to find Catherine of Aragon standing at the stairway, two cups in her hands. She looks concerned but also curious.

“Catherine, hey,” Kat says, nodding as she swallows nervously.

Catherine tilts her head. “What’re you up here for? You alright? We were worried, you didn’t answer your phone.”

“I was caught up in something,” Katherine explains, looking back down at the street. With a sigh, she closes her eyes, shakes her head, and moves back to Catherine.

Catherine smiles at her, offering her a tea. “Drink up, it’s a bit chilly.”

“Thank you, Catherine.”

Kat kisses the woman’s cheek before she moves back downstairs, leaving a confused Catherine of Aragon to ponder the short interaction.

A few days later, however, Katherine is once again convinced of what she must do.

She wanders back up to the Arts’ rooftop, her choker on the ground next to her. She takes a deep breath, goes to move forward…

… until she hears someone behind her.

“How did you get here?”

Katherine sighs, looking back at the girl in green. “Really shitty timing you lot have, don’t you? Is this a trend?”

“I’m sorry?” 

Katherine shakes her head. “Nothing. Just… what’s on your mind? Or what do you want? Something or other, whatever gets you away.”

The girl in green frowns, but then looks down into what Katherine sees as the street. Katherine’s got the sinking feeling that the girl in green doesn’t see it like that, however.

“I think he’ll want me killed,” the girl in green said, smiling a bit sadly as she put a hand on her neck. “I’m pretty sure of it, actually.” 

“Yeah.”

The girl in green looked over at Katherine, who looked out at the city just coming to life. 

“He will.”

The girl in green tilted her head, then looked back outside.

“… will it hurt, do you think?”

“Yours might have.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Silence.

Then, with a gentle chuckle, the girl put her hands over the back of her neck.

“All that work, and for what?”

“Not for nothing, if that helps.”

The woman in green continues to look out at the city as Katherine continues.

“Your daughter is, by far, the best royal to ever come out of this country. He may have tried to erase you - Jane, too, I guess, from what I’ve heard - but it backfires on them.” Kat looked over and smiles. “You get the last laugh.”

The girl in green continues to look out at the horizon, deep in thought. Then, with a smile, she looks over at the younger queen.

“Thank you, love,” she says with a big grin. “Wherever we are right now… I hope it treats you better than how this life has treated me.”

With that, she fades into the sunlight.

Katherine watches for a moment before falling into a neutral expression, turning and walking back down the stairs to join the others as they arrived for the early call.

Katherine sighs, which Anne hears as she walks past the dressing room. She backtracks, looking over at Katherine.

“Are you alright, Kitty?”

Katherine looks over, pauses for a moment, before she smiles and nods.

“Yeah. It wouldn’t have worked anyhow.”

“What wouldn’t have?” Anne asks, but Katherine’s already moving out of the dressing room. With a gentle kiss to her cousin’s cheek, Kat moves downstairs to join the others for places.

A week later, she’s back outside in the early morning, overlooking the River Thames. She looks down at the river and frowns, taking out her phone, trying to see how deep it is…

… when a woman walks up next to her.

Katherine looks up and eyes widen slightly in surprise.

“Oh. I should have expected this.”

The woman in question turned to look back at the unfamiliar girl. Her blonde hair tucked neatly away, an elegant dress that Katherine knew the woman had a hand in making, sitting on the edge of the bridge as she straightens up her posture. She looks as regal as Katherine imagined her to be.

“Hello,” Katherine says, knowing how this runs by now. “What’s on your mind?”

“On my…?” the blonde asks, tilting her head. “I’m so sorry, have we met?”

Katherine pauses as she formulates an answer.

“Not yet,” she decides. “But soon.”

The blonde tilts her head but chuckles softly, politely. 

“What an odd answer, but alright, then.” 

They sit in silence for a few more minutes before Jane looks back over at Katherine. 

“Are you…” she swallows nervously. “May I answer your question anyways, though?”

Kat smiles and nods. Jane returns the smile before looking back at the river.

“I’m afraid my… my husband, now, he threatened my life.”

Kat nods, leaning back a bit. “Has he done it before?”

The blonde looks a bit alarmed. “What?”

“Your husband. Has he done it before?”

The blonde looks back out.

“… not this directly.”

“Ah.”

Silence. Then, Katherine:

“So you’ll stay silent, then? For the rest of your life?”

“I suppose so. Don’t have much choice at the moment. But it’s alright,” she says, a hand on her stomach. “I love him, he loves me, and God will gift us with a son. We’ll be a happy family once he arrives.” 

Katherine looks over at the blonde before she looks back out at the river.

“I wish you believed that that was true.”

Jane looks absolutely petrified at the statement, but Katherine gives her a smile.

“You’re in a place where they can’t hurt you. You can speak your mind.”

Another long, silent moment. Then, the blonde:

“I’m scared.”

Katherine nods. The blonde continues.

“I’m scared that he’ll kill me. Like he did poor Anne - the girl… she shouldn’t have died. I’m partially responsible - complicit, at the very least - but I couldn’t have done anything without risking my own life. I would have died with her.”

“She knows that.”

“I needed to look out for my family, my future.”

“I know that.”

“And now I’m being threatened by the man I love. And I’ll be erasing all of her legacy because it’ll make him happy. I will continue to destroy Anne’s legacy to keep my head on my shoulders.”

“Yeah.”

“I… don’t feel bad about it. I don’t feel anything at all. Am I a monster?”

“I think you’re scared, and you’re going to be until you die,” Katherine replies. “And you’re just trying to survive. I don’t agree with a lot of what you did, but… you’re not a monster. Not at all.”

The blonde considers this, right before she smiles and nods. “Thank you.” She stands up. “I should get back to my beloved, I’m sure he’s worried.”

Katherine smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. The return smile from the blonde doesn’t reach the other woman’s eyes, either.

“Good luck,” Katherine says simply, looking away before the blonde could fade away before her eyes.

As if on cue, she gets a call. With a sigh, she looks at the caller ID and answers immediately.

“Just went on a run, mum, I’ll be back in a bit-” Katherine starts, but then she smiles. “Actually, are you free? I’m by the theatre, do you want to come down to that cafe we wanted to try?”

Jane sounds absolutely delighted, the genuine smile clear through the phone.

“That sounds lovely, Kit. I’ll be there right away.” 

The next time it happens, she had tried to act fast.

Before, she had only considered, but now, with her shoes off and belongings dropped to the side, she had walked towards the edge of the same place she found the woman in blonde… only to be stopped by a woman in red.

Of course.

“Where are you going?”

Katherine looked over at the girl and she had to hesitate. It was _her_ after all.

“I wanted… to go home,” Katherine mumbles, sitting down. The woman in question - in a dress that’s not from this era - sits down next to her. Katherine pulls her knees in. “I want to go home.”

“This isn’t your home, little Kat,” the woman in red said. “I’m not sure how you’re even here, considering…”

“I know,” Kat mumbles. “I know.”

They’re silent for a few moments. Then, with a sigh.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, little one,” the woman in red said. She pulls the girl in close. “Tell me what you’re looking for out here, in this… fairly strange land.”

“You can see this place?”

“Am I not supposed to?”

“The others didn’t.”

“The others aren’t me, I imagine.” 

Katherine chuckles at that. “It’s just… it’s too much.” It’s all too much.

“I…” the lady in red sighs. “I couldn’t save you then, so let me save you now, little Kitty. Okay?” The lady in red shakes her head and pulls Katherine into a hug. “Whatever it is, don’t you dare let it take you.”

Katherine tears up. “I don’t want to be here anymore-”

“But you’re here - wherever this is - for a reason, my love,” the woman in red replies. “You’re here for something very, very important. I can tell.”

Silence. Then, after a moment:

“You’re here because something’s on _your_ mind, though,” Katherine says gently. “That’s how it’s been for everyone else. So… what’s going on?”

The woman in red frowns. “He kissed me. When I didn’t ask for it, when I didn’t know who he was.”

“He did.”

“I didn’t like it. I don’t like him.”

“I know.”

“It was ages ago, but… I always think about it, at least once every few days. With the new queen… I’m scared for her. Even though I must act like his friend to survive.”

“Well,” Katherine mumbles. “When I see her later, I’ll let her know you were worried, how’s that?”

The woman in red frowns. “Katherine… I’m so sorry. For what happened. It shouldn’t have.”

“I know,” Kat nods.

“So why are you so willing to go through that again?”

Before Katherine can reply, though, the woman in red has left, the sun hitting the place where she just was.

Katherine has to calm herself down; it takes a few minutes. She barely even registers the door opening, the woman walking towards her and hugging her tightly.

“Anna,” Katherine says; she didn’t need to look up to know who it was. She knew by the hug alone.

“Hello, love,” Anna replies with a gentle smile. “What’s got you so upset? Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just… I just want you here, Anna,” Katherine mumbles. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Anna tilts her head in thought at that before she nods. She sits down next to Katherine - right where the lady in red was - and pulls her close.

“We have some time and it’s a nice morning. We can stay here for a while.” 

That lasts her a few more weeks, but now… now, she’s serious.

At first, the others had tried to confront Katherine about her weird behavior lately, but that was quickly derailed when Katherine started yelling at them. By the end of her tirade, Katherine had successfully pushed all the queens away from her, resulting in a very tense situation at the bar after the show. 

She had stayed away from the others, content on drinking alone tonight (though not out of the sightlines of the other queens, though she’d never admit it) when a man had tried to pick her up.

It had gone incredibly bad; she had refused, done everything that Cathy taught her to do, but he had continued. The other queens had been distracted and, thanks to her not being in earshot, the guy got a bit… handsy, and suddenly she was slapping the guy in the face and rushing out of the bar without even a word to the other queens.

She knows they’re looking for her now, but it’ll be too late. It has to be, this time it’s for real.

She goes to where she thinks is the last place they’ll look - the Tower of London. 

She sees Traitor’s Gate, currently underwater.

She takes off her shoes.

She puts down her belongings. 

She takes a step forward…

… until someone, again, appears in front of her.

Katherine all but screams in frustration.

It’s a woman in blue. 

Of course it is.

“What the _hell_ do you want?”

The woman in blue seemed startled by the outburst, but she shakes her head. “I’m… I don’t know-”

“All of you said that, all five of you now,” Katherine yells. “Why are you all here, why are you telling me these stories, what does this have to do with ANYTHING that I’m dealing with right now? What’s the point? Why are you here? Leave me ALONE!”

Katherine falls to her knees, sobs racking her body. She doesn’t get why she’s being punished so bizarrely, but she needs it to stop. 

She just wants it all to stop. 

Another step towards Traitor’s Gate.

The woman in blue frowns. “What are you going to do?”

“What I should have done before I met the first of you,” Katherine growls. out.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to do that.”

“I don’t think you can stop me.”

“I think I won’t have to.”

Katherine glares. The woman in blue continues.

“I’m likely going to die tomorrow.”

Katherine looks up at the woman in blue as she continues.

“I will likely die, and I know my daughter might be alone. Both of them, though one’s not by blood, and-”

“I don’t. Care. I don’t get why you all are telling me all this, I don’t understand why you’re here, just leave me alone!”

“No.”

Katherine rushes straight up to the lady in blue. The woman was wearing a dress from before - of course she was. She almost trips on it when she’s backing up from the enraged Howard.

“What do you mean, _no?_ I’m telling you to leave!”

“And I’m telling you I’m not going to,” the woman in blue said. “What others have you seen? I’m assuming not yourself?”

“… everyone else,” Katherine seethes. “They’ve all been here. In order. One in gold, one in green, one blonde, one in red, and now, one in blue. You, Catherine Parr.”

Parr nods. “What have we been saying? I don’t know them, I can’t speak for them, but… I can at least help you figure out their words.” Parr half-chuckles. “Call it a dying woman’s last wish, to help you figure this out.”

Katherine sighs, sitting on the ground next to the water.

“… all about dying. Or the worst thing about to happen to them. Something like that.”

“And do you think maybe that’s because of what you’re trying to do?” Katherine looks away, so Parr continues. “Maybe, just maybe, you’re supposed to help them so they can help you. Not the you’s you helped, but the you’s from this century.”

Katherine shakes her head, but both look at the phone a few meters away; Jane is calling.

“They love you, Katherine,” Parr says. “They really do. And if you’re feeling this bad, that you’ve tried at least five times… it’s something they want to help you with, love. Let them, please.” 

Katherine sobs into her lap now, trying her hardest to keep things together but it just won’t work. She’s breaking down now, sobbing.

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Parr continues. “But you’ve helped all of us through your troubles. Just… please consider letting them help you, too. That’s all I ask.”

Katherine looks back up, but Parr is gone.

She looks back at her phone and, sure enough, Catherine Parr is calling.

“Of course you are.”

She stares at the phone, stares at the water, then back at the phone again. 46 missed calls.

She could make it 47, make it 60, make it unlimited. Make it so she never has to answer a call again.

However, Parr’s words come back to her. 

_Consider letting them help you, too_.

Back at the bar, the five remaining queens were in a panic, trying to find out where Katherine had gone.

“I shouldn’t have let her sit alone,” Jane says, eyes puffy with tears. “I should have kept a closer eye on her. Oh, god, what if she’s-”

“It’ll be okay, Jane,” Anne says. “We’ll find her.”

Catherine, meanwhile, has taken it upon herself to spam Katherine’s phone with messages. She’s called 35 times already, trying to reach the fifth queen, but it seems like it’s a lost cause.

Finally, on her 36th call, she decides it’ll be the last.

It rings…

and it rings…

and it rings….

… and it goes to voicemail.

Catherine’s heart sinks.

“Hey, Kat,” Catherine says quietly. “It’s me. Again. Please give us a call-”

But she stops, however, when she hears the notification for a waiting call.

She looks at her phone.

Katherine.

She hangs up the voicemail and accepts the incoming call.

“Kat?”

“I’m at the Tower of London,” Katherine says, eerily calm, “and if someone doesn’t come soon, I’m afraid I’ll do something I’ll regret. Please come.”

“We’re on our way, Katherine, just sit tight,” Cathy says, loud enough for the other queens and Ladies in Waiting to hear. “Where are you there? By the tickets or-”

“By Traitor’s Gate.” Katherine says. “Can you… can you stay on the line?”

“Of course, Kitty. I’m right here.” 

“And, uhm… Parr?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”


End file.
